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Understanding the Experiences of Diagnosed Narcissists: Beyond the Negative Labels.
At times, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments often turn “detached from reality”, he admits. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”
For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “crash”, where he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his conduct, leaving him highly sensitive to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have NPD after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that conclusion by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”
Clarifying NPD
Though people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is so much stigma linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as displaying material goods,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.
I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously
Gender Differences in The Disorder
While a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, studies indicates this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.
First-Hand Experiences
I find it difficult with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to a defensive state or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her partner “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”
She grew up primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself over the years what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”
Underlying Factors of NPD
These mental health issues tend to be connected with early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.
In common with many of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.
As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.
Pursuing Treatment
After a visit to his general practitioner, he was directed to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”
John has only told a small circle about his mental health status, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number
Brian Hernandez
A passionate writer and shopping enthusiast with a keen eye for quality products and lifestyle trends.
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