Ex- English skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and hesitating to completely absorb that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is definitely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's shock or possibly I handle situations in another way, and after I have the information, it's simpler," he stated further.
Early Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a series of scans indicated neural pathways in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely affected about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't feel sick. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I remain competent to performing whatever I want. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Disease Development
MND can develop quickly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a twelve months and more than half within 24 months of identification, as eating and breathing become harder.
Therapy can only delay worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," commented an affected Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody said the focus was being in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely militantly concentrated on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been very fortunate that the sole determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those times back."
Athlete Link
Top-level sportspeople are unevenly impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the rate of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the broader public.
It is believed that by limiting the air accessible and creating damage to nerve cells, consistent, vigorous exercise can trigger the illness in those already predisposed.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his fearless, persistent style to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a training equipment and commenced participating in collisions.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the line-out in the critical moment of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop kick.
Backing System
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a few other previous players about his diagnosis, but the others will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the moment, just having that kind of care and acceptance that people are present is what's important," he stated.
"This game is such a great family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Achieving this for so long a time with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to support in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
