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After 12 Months of Avoiding Each Other, the Feline and Canine Are Now at War.
We come back from our holiday to an entirely changed home: the oldest one, the middle child and the oldest one’s girlfriend have been in charge for more than a fortnight. The food in the fridge looks unfamiliar, sourced from unfamiliar shops. The dining table resembles the hub of a shady trading scheme, with computer screens everywhere and power cords dividing the space at hip level. Under the counter, the dog and the cat are fighting.
“They fight?” I ask.
“Yes, this is normal now,” the middle one says.
The canine traps the feline, over near the back door. The cat rears up on its back legs and nips the dog's ear. The canine flicks the cat away and pursues it around round the table, avoiding cables.
“Common perhaps, but not typical,” I comment.
The cat rolls over on its spine, assuming a passive stance to lure the canine closer. The dog takes the bait, and the cat sinks two sets of claws into the dog's snout. The dog backs away, with the cat dragged behind, clinging below.
“I liked it better when they were afraid of each other,” I say.
“I think they’re having fun,” the eldest remarks. “It's not always clear.”
My wife walks in.
“I thought they were going to take the scaffolding down,” she notes.
“They suggested waiting for rain,” I say, “to confirm the roof repair.”
“But I told them I couldn’t wait,” she responds.
“Yes, I passed that on, but they still didn’t come,” I add. Scaffolding is expensive, until you want it gone, then they’re content to keep it indefinitely at no charge.
“Can you call them again?” my spouse asks.
“I will, just as soon as …” I reply.
The only time the dog and cat cease fighting is in the hour before feeding time, when they agitate in concert to push for earlier food.
“Quit battling!” my spouse shouts. The dog and the cat stop, look around, look at her, and then roll out of the room as a fighting mass.
The dog and the cat fight on and off all morning. At times it appears to be edging beyond playful, but the cat has ample opportunity to escape through the flap and it keeps coming back for more. To get away from the noise I go to my shed, which is freezing cold, having sat unheated for two weeks. Finally I return to the kitchen, among the monitors and cables and the children and pets.
The only time the dog and the cat are at peace is before their meal, when they agitate in concert to bring feeding forward by an hour. The feline approaches the cabinet, settles, and gazes at me.
“Meow,” it voices.
“Food happens at six,” I say. “It's only five now.” The feline starts pawing the cupboard door with its front paws.
“That's the wrong spot,” I say. The canine yaps, to back up the cat.
“One hour,” I declare.
“You know you’re just gonna give in,” the eldest says.
“No I’m not,” I insist.
“Miaow,” the feline cries. The dog barks.
“Ugh, fine,” I relent.
I give food to the pets. The canine devours its meal, and then goes across to see the feline dine. After the cat eats, it swivels and takes a casual swipe at the dog. The dog gets the end of its nose under the cat and turns it over. The feline dashes, halts, pivots and attacks.
“Stop it!” I yell. The dog and the cat pause briefly to look at me, before carrying on.
The following day I rise early to be in the calm kitchen before anyone else wakes. Even the cat and the dog are asleep. For a few minutes the only sound in the house is me typing.
The eldest's partner enters the room, dressed for work, and gets water at the counter.
“You’re up early,” she says.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I’ve got a photo session later, so I need to get some work done, if it runs long.”
“You’ll enjoy the break,” she says.
“Indeed,” I say. “Seeing others, saying things.”
“Have fun,” she adds, heading out.
The windows have begun to pale, revealing an overcast morning. Leaves drop off the large tree in bunches. I see the tortoise in the room's corner. We exchange a sorrowful glance as a fighting duo begins moving slowly down the stairs.
Brian Hernandez
A passionate writer and shopping enthusiast with a keen eye for quality products and lifestyle trends.
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